so that wasnt chicken after all
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Your shirt... Was in my pants
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
