The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
