It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
