she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
