the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
