I wish they made helmets for livers.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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