i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
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