i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
