As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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