My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
