fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
that's an acceptable place to lick
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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