I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
