Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
