yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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