I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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