Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
