she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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