So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
no you cant smoke seaweed
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
