YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
