The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I faked an abortion last night.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
