And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
