I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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