How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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