You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
