just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
