Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
