and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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