And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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