Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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