She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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