Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
