I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
