at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
