I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You can't special order awesome
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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