Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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