Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
