I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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