How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
