Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
