I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
