I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
