Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I have feelings that need drinking.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
