i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
