my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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