dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
