Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
