I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize