There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
