If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
