If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
