Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
