I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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