shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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