remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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