Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
