Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
