im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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