Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
