They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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