I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
