he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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