real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
