All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
