He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
