He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
