Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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