No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
