There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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