I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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