oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So vagazzling was a success
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
